Chapter 18
The Psychometrics of the Soul
How many psychologists do you know who have imaginary playmates? Such a playmate can say things you’re not quite ready to say yourself, and can look at things a little differently.
But don’t expect your imaginary companion to always agree with you. Sometimes the debates seem to go on forever, and you and your friend may need to get outside opinions, or more information.
Please keep in mind as you read what follows that I make rich use of at least one imaginary playmate.
One day several years after Dr. Fringe and I had attended the Gamblers Anonymous congress in San Francisco, I reached into my small mailbox and extricated a large, wrinkled envelope with Dr. Fringe’s return address. Clearly it was not a casual letter; the size of it suggested work of some sort.
I remembered the scene in an Italian restaurant in San Francisco, where I had met with Dr. Fringe that strange evening. His words came to me now with greater understanding.
"Taber," he had said, "I think we now know enough about how people think to measure spirituality." I suspected that this envelope must contain more on the topic; occasional letters from Fringe had alluded to the spirituality problem.
I remembered not wanting to get into such a complicated and controversial topic at that time in my life, and I wasn’t sure I had any interest in it now.
I remembered Fringe’s excitement that night as he told me he thought we could specify exactly what spirituality was, where it comes from, and how to get it. He thought we could teach spirituality in a way that it could be easily and quickly learned early in life, just like reading and writing are learned. He believed it would inoculate and immunize young people against addiction, neurotic thinking, bad behavior, stress, and self-doubt! "What a place the world would be if everyone learned spirituality!" Fringe had said.
A statement like that had to be based on a lot of ifs and maybes. It didn’t seem to leave any room for genetics, accidents, disease, or misfortune—as if some set of ideas could prevent immoral behavior and create spirituality! But if Fringe were right, it might break a major educational deadlock: The United States Constitution keeps religion out of public education, but perhaps moral and spiritual training might be admitted there if they ever became parts of behavioral science based on real research.
Certainly the state of our country at the time would suggest a general failure to teach any moral principles to much of the nation’s youth. But there was a nagging thought in the back of my scientifically trained mind that spirituality might have some of its roots in genetics. Perhaps at least part of our psychological character is inherited, and thus not subject to change.
I had asked Fringe if spirituality was not, after all, the business of religion.
"That’s the problem," he had said. "Religion always confuses mysticism with spirituality. I’m talking about secular spirituality, the spirituality of the future. You and I, Taber, we’re secularists. We believe in the doctrine that education and government should be completely free of religious elements. But must our practice of secularism deprive us of a spiritual life? Of course not! We’re on the verge of developing spirituality for the common man, spirituality without miracles or mysticism. And you know that’s true, Taber, so don’t weasel out on me."
I guess I had been more impressed with his ideas than I had cared to admit. Why else would that conversation stand out so clearly in memory?
Every day, in my work with severely addicted people, I saw the profound absence of strong and effective moral, ethical, and spiritual values. Also, I saw how their diligent work in Twelve Step Programs could begin to make up for that handicap. People who never had much consideration for anything but their own desires did learn new ways of thinking and acting. But what I wanted was spirituality for this life, on this planet, not a preparation for life in some heaven or afterlife. I could think of no better description of such a goal than Fringe’s secular spirituality.
Certainly I had known a few religious people who seemed to have a wonderful spirituality about them. Many other religious people, however, in their everyday lives, seemed to lack what I would think of as spirituality. And always puzzling to me was the occasional patient who had suffered through years of addiction to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, and yet clearly showed a natural serenity, kindness, and love for others that I could only think of as spiritual in nature. It seemed to me that spirituality and religious life were clearly different things, related more by accident than by cause.
Also, I had never been able to quite agree with the shopping list of spiritual qualities offered by the different religions. What was thought to be spiritual at any given time in any particular country by any particular religion changed, was redefined, and often distorted. Selfishness, for example, is often denounced by religion, but most religions selfishly demand blind obedience. Religion can be a jealous master. Spirituality is not jealous, it does not demand.
Selfishness is so common among all species that it must have survival value. For centuries, moralists have been telling us how bad and wrong selfishness is, the very selfishness that allowed the species to survive in the competition for survival. Could it not be, I have often wondered, that our selfish natures might not, in fact, be the basis for valuable, earthy spirituality?
If we do not selfishly survive as individuals, all discussions of spirituality seem pointless. However, I had recently read the theories of modern biologists such as Richard Dawkins, and the analysis of cognitive evolution by Daniel C. Dennett. They advanced the argument that altruism—kindness and consideration of others, the desire to care for others, the lack of selfishness—may actually have survival value.
There will be no species reproduction if man and woman cannot be protective, kind, and supportive of each other, at least for as long as it takes to make and raise babies. Life, it turns out, is selfishly better for the individual and for the species if it is altruistically practiced. Altruism, the ability to care and share, must have been bred selectively into our species, otherwise the genes could not be passed on, and genes themselves seem determined to survive. Without altruism, the extinction of our species would be inevitable.
In his book Consilience, the eminent biologist Edward O. Wilson, Ph.D., states that the survival of the species depends on the emergence, through evolution, of altruism. That’s stuff a practical man can get his teeth into!
Any meaningful spirituality, I concluded, must begin not in the rejection of selfishness, but in the use of that universal trait as a foundation. Both selfishness and altruism coexist and complement each other to achieve the goal of passing on our genetic material.
After dinner I carried the envelope into the living room, started a wood fire against the evening chill, and settled down to see what Fringe had in store for me now.
There was a brief cover letter.
My dear old friend,
People must make choices, and in the field of character development—spirituality, I would call it—the choices continue. We choose to believe this or that, and then we live with the consequences of our beliefs. But most of us live with our old, useless beliefs for so long that we forget they are the results of choices. We think it’s wrong, bad, immoral, or disloyal to change a belief, even if it’s killing us. Changing your mind is easy. Feeling comfortable with the change is the hard part.
Take this test by answering the questions, Taber, and tell me your score. Each question has two choices, A) and B). If you answer A), score that zero; if you answer B), score that as one point. Since there are 65 questions, 65 is the highest possible score.
No matter how much you dither between answers A) and B), you only get to choose one of the two. This is a forced choice test, just like making important decisions in life. You cannot go in both directions at once. So don’t weasel or waffle. Pick the choice you like best and live with it.
Please add any items you think are missing, and let me hear from you soon.
You will also find a small, sealed envelope marked, "Don’t open until you complete the test."
Warm regards, Oliver
I put the sealed envelope aside and, against my better judgment, took a pencil and started the test.
A Test of General Attitudes, Values and Beliefs
1. A) Sorrow, grief, and pain are common events, and parts of normal living.
B) Life should be exciting, rewarding, and fun if it is to be worthwhile.
2. A) I can learn from mistakes; besides, nobody is perfect.
B) If I can't do something well, I would rather no do it at all.
3. A) I appreciate the ability it takes to arrive at a good compromise.
B) I do things the way I think is right, and make no compromises.
4. A) Extreme points of view bother me, they seem too simple.
B) Everything comes down to black or white, good or bad, yes or no.
5. A) Whatever is going on at the moment usually gets my full attention.
B) Past errors and future goals dominate my thinking.
6. A) I see many things I might want to change about myself.
B) Change, for me, will be difficult or impossible.
7. A) I am usually very aware of even my smallest thoughts and acts.
B) I am often surprised by my own thoughts and acts.
8. A) When I overindulge, I let it go and try to do better the next time.
B) If I were not so weak and lazy I would never go to excess.
9. A) New information is needed for good problem solving.
B) New information sometimes just causes confusion and distraction.
10. A) It is best to avoid making a quick judgment when meeting new people.
B) First impressions can be very important.
11. A) Actions are best determined by the facts, no matter how one feels.
B) Feelings are often a better guide than mere facts.
12. A) I would rather ask for help too soon than too late.
B) When I do ask for help, things often seem to get worse.
13. A) In new situations I tend to look for some overall organization.
B) In new situations I get involved with details right away.
14. A) I like to work on solving complex problems.
B) I keep work simple to avoid distractions.
15. A) Even without a watch or clock, I am usually aware of time passing.
B) I frequently lose track of time.
16. A) I tend to keep what I have earned for myself.
B) I am often too generous and kind to others.
17. A) I'm pretty good at managing my anger.
B) I tend to run away or to attack when frustrated.
18. A) Even-tempered people seem to get along better than moody people.
B) Moody people are interesting; even-tempered people are boring.
19. A) I am usually pretty accurate in figuring out how others feel.
B) The way others react emotionally often surprises me.
20. A) Emotionally, I respond pretty much as do others.
B) My feelings are often different from those of other people.
21. A) When I am upset, I know it right away.
B) It often takes me a long time to figure out my true feelings.
22. A) I use exercise, recreation, companionship, or rest to deal with stress.
B) When I am under great stress, I can't enjoy my usual activities.
23. A) I know pretty well how I am going to feel in most situations.
B) I can never really predict how I will react emotionally.
24. A) When I get upset, I enjoy trying to figure out why.
B) I often have to take something to calm my nerves.
25. A) I seldom find myself controlled by fear.
B) Sometimes I seem to experience panic or anxiety attacks.
26. A) Loud noises really don't bother me.
B) A loud noise can really make me jump.
27. A) I warm up to others easily.
B) I am a very shy person.
28. A) I know how to get what I need from others without too much trouble.
B) I never seem to get what I need without going to extremes.
29. A) Overall, I respect our legal system.
B) Many laws are unfair and should be ignored when possible.
30. A) I enjoy helping others.
B) People seem to make too many demands on me.
31. A) I feel a strong commitment to make major changes in my life.
B) I will go on pretty much as I have, making small changes if necessary.
32. A) I need to learn more about myself.
B) I know myself pretty well.
33. A) I could live alone without too much difficulty.
B) The idea of living alone frightens me.
34. A) I usually feel comfortable among different types of people.
B) I really prefer to be among people like myself.
35. A) I try to keep an open mind to suggestions.
B) I find that my way usually works best for me.
36. A) I am not comfortable if I try to hide the truth.
B) I am content to tell people only what they need to hear.
37. A) Help others and you help yourself.
B) Take care of yourself first before you try to help others.
38. A) Democracy works, it just takes time and effort.
B) People don't know what they need; strong leadership is essential.
39. A) In some situations it is necessary to let go and hope for the best.
B) I hate to lose control of any situation.
40. A) I am a team player for whatever job needs doing.
B) I prefer to work alone on any job.
41. A) I am a person who can't hide a mistake or wait to correct it.
B) It does not pay to admit errors or confess a weakness.
42. A) I seem to direct and plan my life myself.
B) My life seems to be directed by people and events beyond my control.
43. A) I am pretty good at making plans and sticking to them.
B) I am often disorganized, impulsive, and suggestible.
44. A) I am responsible for where I am in life right now.
B) Things would be much better if others had not let me down.
45. A) I will listen to anyone who knows more about something than I.
B) I have problems with people who think they know it all.
46. A) I have problems, but things will work out well eventually.
B) Sometimes I feel so hopeless I don't care about anything anymore.
47. A) Science usually gets to the truth about most things eventually.
B) There are many things that science will never explain.
48. A) Patience is one of my strong points.
B) I need immediate results.
49. A) I am not easily thrown off course.
B) I seldom think before acting.
50. A) I am not easily persuaded by salespeople.
B) I am too eager to please others.
51. A) I often feel a little embarrassed when someone praises me.
B) I seem to crave compliments and recognition.
52. A) Things that frustrate me today could lead to big rewards tomorrow.
B) I see no point in denying myself life's little pleasures.
53. A) I have great faith in certain people and ideas.
B) I trust almost no one and have little faith.
54. A) My personality always seems to be changing with experience.
B) I am pretty much the same person I have always been.
55. A) I tolerate pain pretty well.
B) Doctors never seem to appreciate my complaints.
56. A) Overall, life has been pretty good to me.
B) I've had my share of misery and want my turn at a good life.
57. A) I would rather hear the truth about myself even if it hurts.
B) I tend to get very angry over insults and rejections.
58. A) Changing the way I look at things often helps me to get along in life.
B) I try very hard to get things to fit into patterns I can understand.
59. A) Pain often carries important messages about how the body is working.
B) Doctors seem to be too stingy in the use of pain medications.
60. A) I would really like to be just an average and normal kind of person.
B) I do not want to settle for being just an average and normal person.
61. A) I am comfortable with my achievements and the recognition they bring.
B) I have accomplished little and recognition would be a mistake.
62. A) My control of life would decrease if I used alcohol or drugs.
B) Sometimes alcohol and other drugs help one to feel more in control.
63. A) I generally feel at home in my body and comfortable within myself.
B) At times I have felt distant from myself, like watching from outside.
64. A) I have always felt very much in control of my actions.
B) My behavior sometimes takes on an automatic or machinelike quality.
65. A) I see my life as a single and continuous flow of events.
B) Parts of my life are hard to remember and seem strange and far away.
After finishing the test, I was confused. What was Fringe trying to prove? If this thing was trying to measure spirituality, I had done poorly; out of 65 I’d scored only four. Bah! The man’s a raving lunatic!
Oh, very well, let’s see what’s in that envelope I wasn’t supposed to open until the test was taken.
Just a brief, hand written note:
Fooled you, Taber, didn’t I? Low score wins, like golf. Every time you answer A), you prove you have a grasp on the good life, on our secular spirituality. Life is choices. Morality and spirituality come from personal choices. Every time you answer B), you prove how susceptible you are to addiction, stress, turmoil, and a wasted life. If I were a gambler, I’d have put my money on a low score for Taber. A) is mature; B) is immature. What would happen if you gave this test to your patients? Fringe.
If I gave that thing to the patients, I would either be drummed out of a job or shot by an angry veteran. I could just imagine the endless, raging arguments each item could stir up. People would be arguing forever about which was the right answer to each question.
The next evening, however, I reviewed Fringe’s test. The items certainly were thought-provokers. I made notes on each of the items, to offer Fringe a detailed commentary. As I did, it all began to make more sense, and I became excited about the possibilities of actually using something like this to measure patients’ progress in treatment for addiction. The A) choices certainly did describe the kind of person I admire, the kind of person I’d like to be if I could.
When I use the word spiritual now, I am referring to a psychological state of mind, and to a way of earthly living, not to any religious meaning of the word, nor to metaphysical meanings, to spirits, the afterlife, or to any other speculative level of existence. The goal is simply a better life here in this world. To me, spirituality is full, adult maturity, nothing more or less. It is a path open to anyone.
I learned early in my work as a psychologist that sometimes all you have to do to help someone is to point out a reasonable and useful target behavior, an option, if you will.
After this communication from Dr. Fringe I never heard from him again. He did not answer my letters, or the test comments I sent to him. After about six months I tried calling him, and found there no such number listed, no such name in the telephone book. No one could tell me what had become of Oliver Fringe.
Did he succeed in measuring spirituality? I think not.
Had he hit upon something very important in terms of human personality? I certainly think so.
Although many people are fond of scoffing at psychological tests, in over more than 100 years the field of psychometrics has made remarkable changes in how we live. Tests of human intelligence have proved to be of great value in education, health, and personal adjustment. Tests of human personality are widely used in many fields, and can be remarkably predictive of success or failure in many cases. There are almost no areas of human behavior that have escaped testing. Building new psychological tests has become very sophisticated and scientific.
Testing spirituality, however, is a new concept. Before we can measure anything, we have to say exactly what it is we are trying to measure. Once we know the traits or characteristics we want to evaluate, we can write new test items, give them to individuals, and finally try to correlate answers with future performance. There are many long and complex steps along the path in developing useful new tests, but the rule is this: If we can define what we are looking for, we can measure it. And if we can measure it, we probably can use those measurements to evaluate individuals, and also to teach, inform, and educate. If behavior can be measured, it can usually be taught, strengthened, or added to, all for the benefit of the individual and society.
What, then, are the measurable dimensions of human spirituality? What exactly are we trying to describe? Until we have a better, shorter list, I suggest we return to the discussion of character defects and assets in Chapter 13, and use the assets as a guide. Each of these is something that can be learned. Each is related to life on earth. Each is easy to notice in others. None of them depends upon religious affiliation or devotion. They are all decisions to be made or refused. Religion is no guarantee of spirituality, nor does the spiritual life demand any religious loyalty. If religion helps, use it. If religion distracts, move on without it.
Whatever you do, don’t simply wait for spirituality as a gift from on high. Get busy and earn it.
The study of human thinking offers an exciting future, in which spiritual intelligence may be precisely defined, measured, and taught to others. If we dare to dream of it, we can probably accomplish it.
Will I ever encounter my old friend Oliver Fringe again? Perhaps somewhere in the recovery field, where I frequently find spiritual people who are making better lives for themselves, their families, and their communities. Or perhaps I’ll see him only in my daydreams.
Sometimes we take many long, painful years to come to a realization and start to change our ways. After a time, I sincerely believe, we will all come to see the outrageous stupidity of risking wealth on games of chance merely for the relief of emotional distress, or as a way of catering to unrealistic fantasy. We are slowly learning better ways to handle our feelings and our money, but the tuition is high and the class is long. Many will not graduate to maturity.
In the shadow of chance, even now, there appears a promising new root. It will grow and flower, I do believe, into something we can only imagine from our current prospective. But the seed of maturity is alive, hearty, and self-nurturing in all of us. Maturity has survival value. Those who cannot or will not mature die away sooner than later. Eventually we will put away childish things and learn to love the spirituality that maturity offers. Spirituality, after all, is maturity in its most noble sense.