ACT SIX
Hard Choices
(In the office we see a semi-circle of chairs in which are seated all of the characters in this scene.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: I’ve arranged to have a small group today because
several of you are at a point where you have to make very difficult
decisions about life. The theory is simple: if you don’t solve
the big problems and make the tough decisions, they will take you back
to gambling, and we all know where that goes.
QUIGLEY: I don’t know what the others think, Doc, but I give up.
There’s no way I can stay away from gambling. When I leave here
I’m going straight out and find a game, a machine, a football
pool . . . anything where I can get a bet down.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you need some money?
QUIGLEY: You mean you’d give me money to gamble with?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Well, I could at least not bill you for this session, and
that would leave you with a bit more credit. You once said it was my
job to make you feel good.
HORTENSE: Me, too. You said things would get better after I stopped. Things couldn’t be worse in my life right now.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, you suddenly have a lot of new problems in life?
QUIGLEY: No, I wouldn’t call any of my problems new. The old problems just don’t go away.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Have you tried leaving some cash under you pillow for the problem fairy?
MATILDA: Someday you’re going to say something sensible, Doc. I
have faith in you. You don’t understand what it’s like
living in my house.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Tell me.
QUIGLEY: Me first! My wife drinks too much.
HORTENSE: My lazy brother won’t work, he sponges off us for food,
and he just lays around up in the attic watching television. He’s
driving me nuts.
MATILDA: My oldest boy—he’s eighteen—got his girlfriend pregnant.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Hmm . . . how do all those problems make you folks feel?
QUIGLEY: Like I said in the beginning, I just want to go out and gamble, even more than I’d like to throttle you.
PSYCHOLOGIST: O.K., what would each of you want to do about your home lives?
FILBERT: What the hell can anyone do? I’m stuck with mine, too.
I’m trying to pay back what I owe from gambling and everybody at
home blames me for everything that goes wrong. They keep throwing the
past in my face and demanding more from me every day.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, you feel hopeless and that makes you so depressed that you see gambling as a solution?
QUIGLEY: Sounds stupid, I know, but I don’t have any other answers.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Of course you do. What should you do about your wife’s drinking?
QUIGLEY: Hide the bottle?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Golly, that’s original. I think they call that
prohibition. The United States gave that up back in the 1930s. But,
I’m sure you’ve tried all kinds of ways to manage her
drinking for her.
QUIGLEY: I hide the bottle, I try to ration it out to her, I take away
all her grocery money, I beg, I threaten, and I even hit her once when
she was screaming and messing up the kitchen.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Did any of that work on you when you were gambling?
QUIGLEY: No, of course not.
MATILDA: You should leave the b . . . I mean, leave the lady!
PSYCHOLOGIST: See, I knew you had some answers yourselves.
QUIGLEY: I took a vow, for better or for worse. How can I walk out when
she needs me? She didn’t leave me when I was gambling.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you have other children, Quig?
QUIGLEY: Four, altogether: a girl five, and two other boys seven and
twelve; then there’s my teenager and he’s running wild,
too, like Matilda’s Romeo.
PSYCHOLOGIST: What do the younger kids need from you right now, Quig?
HORTENSE: That’s easy; his kids need a Mom who’s sober and a Dad who doesn’t gamble.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Maybe your wife would let you gamble so she could drink
in peace, Quig. When you were gambling, did your wife’s drinking
bother you?
QUIGLEY: Nope. I was just never home that much or I was out working two jobs to get the money for bills and gambling.
PSYCHOLOGIST: You gave her permission to drink as long as she ignored your gambling?
FILBERT: Yep, sure sounds like they were making a trade off.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, what’s best for you and the kids, Quig, a mom
who drinks too much and a dad who really wants to gamble, or just a dad
by himself who manages to stay clean from gambling?
QUIGLEY: Come on, that’s too tough a choice.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Well, your wife might clean up her act and get sober, but
if she doesn’t, do you have other alternatives ready?
QUIGLEY: No. But, we can’t live with her drinking.
PSYCHOLOGIST: What’s best the choice, then?
QUIGLEY: One sane parent, not a drunk and her keeper. I know what you mean.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, your choices are . . .?
QUIGLEY: Dump her or force her to sober up herself.
PSYCHOLOGIST: And what, obviously, do we do to get a person sober?
MATILDA: She goes to Alcoholics Anonymous or she’s out?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Can you give her that alternative and make it stick, Quig?
QUIGLEY: Will you help me?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Sure, we’re your cheerleaders, and Gamblers
Anonymous is your real home now. You have lots of support, and
don’t forget your own Mom and Dad. They’ve solved a lot of
problems in their lives over the years. So, when does your wife go to
her first AA meeting?
QUIGLEY: Now, tonight?
PSYCHOLOGIST: I wouldn’t wait more than a few days, and then you
might offer her the chance to get to a treatment program if she needs
to be detoxified from alcohol. I can give you some numbers to call,
that’s the easy part. Making it stick will be your job.
QUIGLEY: None of this is easy on my kids. I’m gambling here, with their lives and with my wife’s life.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Is forcing her to get help or get out a good bet?
HORTENSE: It’s the only bet; you know that.
PSYCHOLOGIST: It’s not about your ego or about winning money; so, is it gambling or an investment?
QUIGLEY: It’s not gambling, there’s no getting high here. A real life is the prize.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Just think about this for a minute, Quig. Now, HORTENSE,
my friend, what about your brother who’s sponging food? What are
your choices there?
HORTENSE: He lives in the attic and refuses to get a job. What can I do?
PSYCHOLOGIST: What can you do?
HORTENSE: Put him on the street?
MATILDA: Right, or just drive him over to the Salvation Army. If he
won’t get in the car, dump his stuff on the front lawn and change
the locks.
HORTENSE: That sounds like taking a stray dog to the animal pound.
It’s heartless. He’s my brother. I’d feel so guilty,
and my parents expect me to take care of him.
QUIGLEY: And you’re his brother. So what? What’s your first priority?
FILBERT: Hortie needs to stay away from gambling, but blood’s thicker than water.
PSYCHOLOGIST: What does that mean?
FILBERT: Family has to stick together.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Are you doing your brother any real good by protecting and sheltering him, HORTENSE?
MATILDA: Families stick together by doing the right things for each other, not the easiest things.
HORTENSE: No, I know that letting him hide in the attic and sheltering him is wrong.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Are you any good to anyone while you’re gambling? What is your first priority?
HORTENSE: To stay clean from gambling?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Right. You’ve started to clean house, finish the
job. Solve your big problems or depression and frustration will drive
you back to your favorite escape.
HORTENSE: Brother hits the bricks end of the week?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Is that a question or a statement? He’ll whine and
accuse you of not caring. He’ll tell you what, as his older
sister, you owe him. You parents, who’ve washed their hands of
him but expect you to carry him, will blame you, too.
HORTENSE: I’ll try to make it quick.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Try? Try doesn’t work in recovery. Doing works. What does your brother most need?
HORTENSE: To be independent and fend for himself.
PSYCHOLOGIST: And you need some peace of mind so you can concentrate on recovery.
MATILDA: I have to agree with this. Give him the gift of freedom and
feel good about it. I’ll come over if you like and help move him
out, or just be around for moral support if you like.
FILBERT: Whew . . . this is a tough session.
PSYCHOLOGIST: It’s hardly over.
MATILDA: You mean my son’s pregnant girl friend?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Has it dawned on any of you that now you’re not
just fooling with your own lives? You’ve become like me, and
you’re playing with other people’s lives in order to build
your own.
QUIGLEY: I’m like you? And you charge for that? How are you saving your own life messing with other people’s minds?
PSYCHOLOGIST: It puts peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the table,
and it’s actually rather easy since most people, like you,
already know what they have to do in every difficult situation.
Besides, if I didn’t do this I’d have to get a real job.
MATILDA: Should I buy the girl an abortion?
FILBERT: Wait a minute. An abortion is not your decision to make.
It’s not your body, and she’s not even your daughter.
MATILDA: Well, maybe my son could come see the Doc here and get straitened out.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Is he mentally disturbed or emotionally ill?
MATILDA: No, but you have a talent for arranging that. I’d rather
he were nuts than promiscuous. He’s just irresponsible and
can’t keep it in his pants.
PSYCHOLOGIST: That’s one of your favorite fantasies, that I can
make people crazy. What are your choices here, and remember your first
priority.
HORTENSE: Can’t a person have more than one priority at a time?
PSYCHOLOGIST: You can have all you like, but only one at a time can be
at the top of the list. All priorities come in lists, one under the
other. If you keep switching them around you’ll get nothing
accomplished. The only way to move number two up on the list is to
finish number one.
HORTENSE: Throw the kid out of the house; is that what you’re
telling Mattie here? Just go out and bury your problems and ignore what
people need?
PSYCHOLOGIST: It’s called tough love. And it’s two words.
Love and tough. You can’t have one without the other here. What
does tough love tell each of you to do?
QUIGLEY: my wife goes to AA and maybe treatment or I file for divorce immediately.
HORTENSE: Brother is out and I’ll drive him to the Salvation Army or to a homeless shelter myself if I have to.
MATILDA: Oh, damn! He’s my oldest kid, Doc, and hubby spoils him rotten.
PSYCHOLOGIST: He’s an adult, but it takes two decisions in two
people to make a baby unless it was a rape. Who else needs to be
involved here?
FILBERT: The girl and her parents need to be involved and hubby for sure?
PSYCHOLOGIST: So?
MATILDA: A two family conference?
PSYCHOLOGIST: You might want to arrange a professional mediator from a
social service agency, but what if anyone refuses to take part?
QUIGLEY: In politics or business, people who are absent lose their vote.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Your son and his gal friend decided to have a baby.
HORTENSE: Right! Dumb decision, but still a decision. They wanted to be adults, now they have the chance.
PSYCHOLOGIST: If you got soft and let them move in with you and bring a new baby, what would that do to your life, MATILDA?
MATILDA: I can’t even think about that. I’m started now in
a part time job I love. My husband has health problems, and I may have
to be taking more care of him as time goes by. We live in a small house
now. My son and his gal are still both kids, and they aren’t
ready to be responsible parents. I get a panic just thinking about it.
PSYCHOLOGIST: And then you gamble. Interesting pattern. But, it
doesn’t sound like your son is in a panic, yet. You son is a
legal adult now at eighteen. Tell us what you do actually control in
this situation.
MATILDA: Well, if my husband would agree to it, we could tell my son
Jimmy, to leave and take care of himself. I guess all I can control is
my own home.
FILBERT: Would it make a difference if he married the girl?
MATILDA: No, not really, although it’s the right thing to do.
They’d have to find a place of their own, or live with her
parents. They couldn’t be with us.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So, you can only control your space and your life, no one else’s?
MATILDA: Help me find that mediator, Doc.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Of course. I only wish we could find one with as much
wisdom as the others in this little group. You see each other’s
solutions so much more easily than you see your own.
FILBERT: Well, I guess we can wait until next week to put me in the hot
seat. My problems are so minor compared to the rest of the . . .
MATILDA: Why you miserable spendthrift, you drive up here is a big,
expensive car and then whine about how you don’t have any money.
HORTENSE: Filbert, you fat crybaby; you could save a bundle of money if you just stopped eating your face off!
QUIGLEY: I happen to know that your wife sits at home, Fill, watching
soap operas, and that her car is as expensive as that tank you drive.
If she’s bugging you for more money, send her out to find a job
and get her a used car.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Harsh words, group. How much are you spending on entertainment now, filbert?
FILBERT: You people sure can get nasty. We eat out most nights because
my wife says she’s too busy to cook. We hit the movies a couple
of times during the week. I pay for my lunches, gas, and cloths. My
golf club and country club memberships are important, too.
HORTENSE: One hundred dollar silk ties, Filbert! What you’ve got
around your neck would pay a week’s rent for most people.
FILBERT: I have an image to uphold.
PSYCHOLOGIST: And probably a big mortgage, too. What are you paying every month?
FILBERT: O.K., a lot more than I can afford. What am I supposed to do, sell my home and move into a condo?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Now, there’s a thought to hang on to. How much gambling debt do you have?
FILBERT: Close to $200,000.
MATILDA: A condo sounds like a good idea or even a small rented apartment for a while.
FILBERT: My wife would leave me for sure.
GROUP (in unison): We’ll drink to that!
PSYCHOLOGIST: Not here you won’t. Here you only get coffee. Do what’s right, Filbert.
(Close curtain. A stream of people cross the stage slowly carrying sighs that say some of the following:
I hate my job.
You think money is a top priority.
You think you could not find a better job.
Financial insecurity.
You have decided to be a martyr.
You parents expect you to grow up.
Start at the bottom in something you love.
My parents control my life.
You actually enjoy being taken care of.
Avoid responsibility.
I’m in an abusive relationship.
You think you can’t make it alone.
You think you don’t deserve a better mate.)